realist anticipation (or not)

I am now accomplishing things on a daily basis. It's been a long time since I've had that happen. All the "turn my life around" projects I started 6 months ago are coming to fruition. While this is in actuality really frightening, I'm too busy to realize it. I've kept the waking up paralyzed with fear to a minimum. I may actually be changing fear into anticipation. I've replaced 'Great.Perfect.Why don't I just die.' with 'Eh, it's all going to work out someday. I'll just do something fun right now to ignore the badness that just happened.' Youthful optimisim or blind stupidity? Facing the future bravely or digging my grave quicker than necessary? Taking a 22 hour flight to India or the Trans-Siberian express through the Central Asian steppes?