this is why kurt coabin killed himself.

NEWSFLASH! 'ALTERNATIVE' MUSIC IS OFFICALLY DEAD!

I know this because the Yahoo! home page has a music station called 'Adult Alternative'. Add that to the ranks of Adult Contemporary. Adults certainly wouldn't want to accidently listen to 'Teenage Alternative' or 'Recent College Graduate Alternative' or they may become highly irritated. In case you're wondering, the station features Coldplay, Maroon 5, Green Day and more! (psych to Green Day.)

Everyone should now go listen to something loud enough to encourage a headache. My job is done here.